Stuck in the prison of resentment

Sleeping Beauty 5 · Post by **Sleeping Beauty 5** » Mar Fri 28, 2008 12:25 pm

Hi, Sorry for the horrible subject title but I'm seriously getting depressed. My husband knows someone that was part of the college program and has now become a seasonal employee. The problem is that this person (you know who you are) has asked my husband to go with him to WDW leaving me home! I can't bear to think of him going on the revamped SE without me, or Soarin, etc. I mean I'm the one who listens to Subsonic all day at work and posts in the forums but he gets to go instead of me? I want to know if anyone else has experienced this conundrum and what should I do? My hubby keeps talking about the fun they're going to have and I'm seriously about to book a solo trip.

MouseMan · Post by **MouseMan** » Mar Fri 28, 2008 12:34 pm

If my spouse did that I'd make sure the divorce papers were ready for her to sign upon return from the trip!! You also seem to indicate that the seasonal CM is a part of the SSR community. I find it hard to beleive that anyone here could possibly do this and cause the potential breakup of a marriage. A number of years back I had to attend a conference at the Disneyland Hotel. All I could think about was that my wife and daughter (who couldn't be with me at the time) would love to be here too and I refrained from actually taking a day off and going into the park without them.

Croaker · Post by **Croaker** » Mar Fri 28, 2008 1:18 pm

I can speak from personal expierence with this situation. its a bit different but let me share.

My wife gets a call from her friend who says "hey i have a time share opportunity in Cancun and don't want to go alone....want to come along?" my replies "Sure". At that point i was totally p***. first off....what about me? hello Married? the kids...hello! my youngest (who is autistic) when she found out looked with teary eyes and said..."we do vacations together" (i know heart ripping) I called a friend of mine, one who travels to Japan every year (he is a magician) to do shows and is gone roughly for 2 weeks with an attractive assistant. his wife is fine with it too. so i figure he would give me straight up advice on my situation. He helped me understand that sometimes a spouse needs to go enjoy a vacation with a friend. he said to make sure i took a trip too...he pointed out to make sure it was before my wife's trip so the excuse of money couldn't come up....(very good advice) This is when i took my friend who is diminished capacity to Disney World. While i had a good time and was able to take many pictures, i missed my family terrible and vowed next time to not leave the kids. My wife didn't have a good time and she missed all of us. What we learned from this expierience was that we will never do it again.

my advice to you.....wait till April 1st and see if Disney offers the free dining this year. if so book yourself a trip with a friend. if you have kids...book it with them. take a camera and enjoy yourself. Do not let him take the trip without you getting a fair and equal vacation or he will think that its ok whenever this friend calls. (guys think this way too often laugh i know...)

also tell your husband how much this hurts. Remember When your married you become One. His friend needs to know that when he offers your husband an opportunity that you are a part of that package.

SWHorn · Post by **SWHorn** » Mar Fri 28, 2008 3:10 pm

I went once to WDW with some of my family but without my husband. I felt pretty bad that he could go, and I'm sure it wasn't thrilling for him, either. But, he had obligations at home and couldn't make the trip. He wasn't going to make me stay at home with him. I'd return the favor if it ever came up.

buccaneerboy · Post by **buccaneerboy** » Mar Fri 28, 2008 8:07 pm

Don't feel bad. There will be a time when you will get to go without him. My wife and I have Seasonal Passports and at least once a year one of us gets the opportunity to go without the other. Sure, there is jealousy, but we both always get our turn. When she goes to visit her sister, I always go to WDW. Much better than spending time with in-laws.

AKLRULZ · Post by **AKLRULZ** » Mar Sun 30, 2008 7:44 am

I've been on a guys only trip to WDW (think Epcot Crawl!) and on two agency related business trips to WDW without my wife and children - but we go annually so they're pretty understanding.

jcat2312 · Post by **jcat2312** » Apr Tue 01, 2008 7:51 am

Personally, I can't imagine going to WDW without my spouse or child. Hubby and I have often talked about flying down there for a long weekend, but can never bring ourselves to do it alone!

Croaker · Post by **Croaker** » Apr Tue 01, 2008 9:25 am

jcat2312 wrote:Personally, I can't imagine going to WDW without my spouse or child. Hubby and I have often talked about flying down there for a long weekend, but can never bring ourselves to do it alone!

Don't...its like going to the Disney Store instead of shopping at Mainstreet in the Magic Kingdom. its there...but its lacking.

lebeau · Post by **lebeau** » Apr Tue 01, 2008 11:35 am

Croaker wrote:
jcat2312 wrote:Personally, I can't imagine going to WDW without my spouse or child. Hubby and I have often talked about flying down there for a long weekend, but can never bring ourselves to do it alone!
Don't...its like going to the Disney Store instead of shopping at Mainstreet in the Magic Kingdom. its there...but its lacking.

I went off on my own one afternoon during a family trip. I couldn't imagine doing that for a whole trip. It was okay, but not worth it.

GhostHost · Post by **GhostHost** » Apr Tue 01, 2008 1:04 pm

I'm not sure I understand the situation but from the post it sounds like this would be a guys trip (your husband and another guy)? If that's the case then I would not worry too much about it unless you already have trust issues with your husband. Now, if it's a woman then that's a different story! As much as I hate to say it, my first marriage ended partially due to an online relationship with another forum member (not this forum, another Disney forum). My now ex-wife was getting more and more involved with this person and when it turned to private chats and instant messaging, that's when I found out what their real intentions were. I'm not sure that anything ever actually happened but what I read after a night of online chats was enough for us to split up and we never recovered from it. That almost turned me off of Disney and took me almost three years to go back to WDW and realize that Disney is too important to me to let this ruin it. Again, depending on the other person in this situation, a guy's trip would not be so bad as long as you get to have a girl's trip as well but if it's another woman then I think you have to put your foot down.

Sleeping Beauty 5 · Post by **Sleeping Beauty 5** » Apr Wed 02, 2008 9:29 am

Hi, I want to thank everyone for responding to this post and sharing your personal stories! It helped me make up my mind about the whole situation. It was my husband going with another male friend down there for a week and I was jealous because I love WDW SO much. But I've decided to go down there with one of my female friends later this year. I'm just a girl in love with the Mouse!

GhostHost · Post by **GhostHost** » Apr Wed 02, 2008 9:42 am

Well, I'm glad it wasn't really serious. Remember, it's not about keeping score or getting even. Not if your married. Go with your friend because you want to, not because your husband went without you. Ah...young love.

rmorton50 · Post by **rmorton50** » Apr Wed 02, 2008 11:29 pm

I'm glad this worked out for you! You're the only one that can really come up with the right decision. I certainly understand the Jealousy. My wife and daughter are going to Hawaii this November for a Sweet Adeline (women's barbershop style singing) contest. My son-in-law and I could go, but decided we would rather save the money for a 2009 trip to WDW for all of us, plus the grandkids. But, I've never been to Hawaii, and I'm still envious.

SJWP · Post by **SJWP** » Apr Sun 27, 2008 6:13 pm

I'm new here (I thought I'd come to get some advice on adding DISNEY music to home movies but that's another post) and I had to add my 2 cents. It hurts. I know that firsthand. DH's family has invited him to a family wedding in another state and said NOTHING about me or the kids going too. DH was offered free flight arrangements too. This has to be one of the most hurtful things his family has ever done to me and I've spent hours, weeks and even months trying to figure out why they would do this after we've been married for 20 years but have no answer. YOu can book your own trip but I'm afraid it won't be the same. You'll feel badly that you aren't with your partner and it won't be the same at all. I am staying home and though I have voiced all this to DH, I will bide my time. Sometime it will hit him how hurtful it all has been and he'll feel badly. I suspect it will be same with you. Good luck and from one who has (and is) there, I can only say I'm sorry and I wish I could make it better, but that's up to DH and his conscience not you.

AKLRULZ · Post by **AKLRULZ** » Apr Mon 28, 2008 5:03 am

jcat2312 wrote:Personally, I can't imagine going to WDW without my spouse or child. Hubby and I have often talked about flying down there for a long weekend, but can never bring ourselves to do it alone!

My wife and I have been to WDW quite a few times without our children - as much as we adore traveling to WDW with our children it's a different kind of trip when it's just the two of us. WDW can be a romantic place for a couple. And getting away just the two of you is critical when raising kids. Plus, our kids have been to WDW more times than most adults in their lifetime - they know they'll get to go again. The time with my wife is too valuable to let slip by.