Jedi Master Future Guy (me)
Princess Future Gal (my lovely wife)
and fearsome Bounty Hunter Yort Kralc (Future Gal's little brother)
Ever since we got our annual passes late last year, experiencing a day of Star Wars Weekends has been very high on my to-do list for 2010. Future Gal's younger brother (I'll call him Yort, because it's more Star Wars-y than his real first name. Also "Yort" is his first name spelled backwards) agreed to come with us, and we were finally able to settle on Saturday, June 5 as the one day that none of us had any prior commitments. Yort had never been to the Studios before, and hadn't even been to a Disney park since he was a kid, so this trip had the added benefit of being with someone who was experiencing all this for the first time.
There were basically four things we wanted to accomplish: see the Stormtrooper rope-drop show in the morning, get a picture with Darth Vader, ride Star Tours one last time before it goes down for the 2.0 rehab, and see Hyperspace Hoopla. Also last week, I let it slip to Future Gal that, despite the fact my terrible coaster-phobia, I might be open to riding Rockin' Roller Coaster. That excited her to no end. Keeping in mind the ridiculous crowds we were sure to encounter, and the fact that Yort would need to wait in line to buy a ticket, I figured that we needed to arrive about an hour to forty-five minutes prior the park opening. I thought the park opened at 8, so we left at 5:15am to be there by 7:15. When we got there, however, we discovered that the park actually opens at 9, so we had more time to kill than we thought. Yort got his ticket and we sat down on a shady bench on the back end of the ticket plaza. At 8:30, the Stormtroopers appeared atop the entrance plaza for their show. If you've heard the Stormtrooper Entrance Loop here on Subsonic, then you have a general idea of what the show is like, but I think it differs slightly from year to year. This year, for example, the "theme" of Star Wars Weekends was The Empire Strikes Back, since it's that film's 30th anniversary. So, in the spirit of TESB, the Stormtroopers had some company: Boba Fett!
Fett's presence led to a very funny conversation between the Stormtroopers, which went something like this:
Stormtrooper #1: I wish I had a jetpack like Boba Fett's.
Stormtrooper #2: Yeah, right. I can just picture you with a jetpack. You'd probably bounce off the side of a desert sail barge and fall into a Sarlacc Pit!
Stormtrooper #1: (insulted) What makes you say that?
Stormtrooper #2: Oh, I was just trying to picture the stupidest possible way to die, the most unbelievable scenario. I mean, you'd have to be pretty lame to go out like that.
Of course, as any Star Wars fan knows, that's exactly how Boba Fett died in Return of the Jedi, and the lameness of his death is one of our favorite things to mock. After the Stormtroopers ended the show by telling the CMs down on the ground to "lower the forcefield" and let us into the park, it was still 15 minutes before 9am, so were only allowed onto Hollywood Blvd. At 8:55, I looked back and saw that Hollywood Blvd. had completely filled up with people, and more were still coming in! It was already hot and humid, so I was very glad when 9:00 finally came and we could get moving to our first destination.
The Internet is a wonderful thing, because it allows for information to be widely disseminated. However, the Internet is also a bad thing, because it allows for information to be widely disseminated. On this morning, for example, every single member of the large teeming herd of humanity that we found ourselves in was aware, thanks to the Internet, that you have to hit Toy Story Midway Mania first thing in the morning. You see, stuff like that should be a closely guarded secret known only to a select few super cool awesome people like me. Most of the herd was trying to get Fastpasses for TSMM, so we just got in the standby line, and the wait was maybe 15 minutes. Despite the fact that he has never played TSMM before, Yort beat me soundly. Future Gal also scored higher than me. In my defense, I did have the highest accuracy.
After TSMM, we headed over to Muppets. It was down for a rehab recently, and the reports about the drastically improved film quality are true. It looks great. Next we did Star Tours. It's really cool how, in keeping with the "movie studio" theme of the park, the entrance and exit areas give indications of being on a "set". Outside Tatooine Traders, Future Gal and I posed for a picture with the moisture vaporator:
Next, Yort wanted a picture on the speeder bike. Future Gal came up with the very cool idea of having him mount the bike, and me and her posing as if we were chasing him. I think it came out well:
Later, we got in the Darth Vader line. Probably because of the heat and humidity, Vader would to the meet-and-greet thing for about ten minutes at a time, then take a 5-minute break. Despite the fact that his greeting area was shaded, there were no fans nearby, so if the breeze wasn't blowing it was very stifling and uncomfortable. During one of Vader's breaks, a Tusken Raider stopped by to entertain the crowd:
Finally, our turn came. We got one picture of Yort by himself with the Dark Lord, and then one with all of us:
When I met Vader, I made sure to tell him that I was a fan of his brother Chad!
In the plaza nearby, the Stormtroopers were mingling and posing for photos, and Yort and I got a picture with them:
The Boba Fett line was nearby, but it was completely out in the sun, and there was no way I was standing in the sun for that long!
As you may have heard, there's lots of Star Wars Weekends exclusive merchandise for sale during Star Wars Weekends. I didn't want any of it, but Future Gal was really interested in getting the Passholder Exclusive pin. Sometimes they sell out during the first weekend, but fortunately this time they still had some left:
Pretty cool, huh?
Next, we did the Great Movie Ride. While we were waiting to board our vehicle, I noticed that our guide was having a conversation with another CM, the gist of which seemed to be that she was having trouble with her microphone. It worked okay until she re-boarded the vehicle after Muggsy's untimely demise (we had a great Muggsy, by the way!) and then it refused to work at all. I felt so bad for her! The only way she could be heard by the entire vehicle train was to shout, and if she'd shouted all her lines for the rest of the show then she would probably have lost her voice. So all she was able to do was shout "The Wizard of Oz, everybody!", "Tarzan!" and "Fantasia! There's Mickey Mouse!" during those scenes. I think she did a really good job. After GMR, we headed down to get Fastpasses for Rockin' Roller Coaster. Much to my relief, the FP return time was 3pm, about 3 hours away. The next Indiana Jones show was about to start, so we went and did that. We were able to sit down near the front. I knew we'd feel the heat from the fire effects down there, but it's a good view, and I wanted to try to be an extra. Alas, I was not picked, but the show was still great as always! On our way out, Future Gal spotted the little golden idol that Indy swipes at the beginning of the show and she got a nice picture of it:
After Indy, we bummed around for a while. We went into One Man's Dream (but didn't see the movie, because Yort didn't want to). Funny thing: in the display of memorabilia from WDW's opening day, there's a Life magazine with WDW on the cover. One of the other featured articles is "Disco: The Newest Trend in Entertainment". Ah, disco. I wonder if it'll last? Then we went to Animation Courtyard and I picked up a really cool Tomorrowland poster! If you love the attraction posters in the tunnel under the train station at the MK, then you'd be in heaven because several of them are for sale there. I don't know what I'm going to do with the poster I bought, but I'm thinking of framing it and hanging in on the wall next to my desk. We went over to the character greeting area and saw that Lotso, Sorcerer Mickey, and Mr. Incredible & Frozone were doing M&Gs. I thought of getting in line just so I could say to Frozone "Hey, are you Billy Dee Williams?", but no one else wanted to, so I didn't.
Finally, it was time to head to Rockin' Roller Coaster. Right at the entrance to the Fastpass line, I almost chickened out. Ultimately, though, I screwed up my courage and decided to go through with it. I've heard a lot of stories about how people who were once scared of coasters faced up to their fear and found that they really enjoyed it. Did that happen with me? Well, here's the photo of me on the ride:
And here's a picture of me kissing the ground after I got off the ride.
As you may have gathered, I am no closer to enjoying fear-based entertainment than I was before. You see, the "adrenaline rush" and resultant "full body clench" that you get on these kinds of rides are your brain's way of telling you that you should stop whatever it is you're doing. How anyone can get enjoyment out of that is frankly a foreign concept to me. And that's why I could never be a fighter pilot.
After Future Gal purchased our on-ride photo to prove to the folks back home that I had actually ridden the danged thing, we decided to go drop it off at the package pick-up desk for safekeeping, so it wouldn't get all bent and damaged. We were most of the way up Hollywood Blvd. when It happened. By "It", I mean that Future Gal went to step up onto the curb, somehow misjudged where it was and stepped onto empty air. She stumbled, fell, rolled, and kind of thwacked up against the wall of the photo store. Within about two seconds she was surrounded by concerned CMs (a security guard, the manager of the nearby photo shop, another management-type, and even a cleaning person). They made her stay down on the ground initially, until we could be reasonably sure nothing was broken, and then they got her a wheelchair and we waited for the on-site EMTs to arrive and check her out. We had to explain what happened to a couple different people, and she was careful to say that it was entirely her fault each time, lest they think she fell on purpose just to get free stuff or have grounds for a lawsuit. All she ended up needing was some Advil and an icepack for her wrist, which had taken the brunt of the impact. Everyone was really nice; Disney really trains their CMs well to respond to these kinds of things. Never did we get the idea that they were more concerned with avoiding liability than with making sure she was okay.
After that excitement was over, we headed back into the park. Like I said earlier, there were several costumed guests there. We saw several people in screen-accurate Jedi costumes, one guy in a perfect Lando Calrissian costume, and another dude who looked exactly like Han Solo in his Empire Strikes Back outfit, right down to the early-80s hair. And then there was this guy:
I know, I'm a terrible person for making fun of someone I don't even know, but you don't know how many funny captions I came up with for that picture, or how much self-control it took not to use any of them.
Anyway, we had a late lunch/early dinner at the ABC Commissary, and then we went on the Backlot Tour, where Yort snapped a great series of pictures that nicely captures the sequence of events inside Catastrophe Canyon.
Depending on how much you like getting wet, the back of the tram is either the best or worst place to sit. When we boarded, the tram was still dripping wet from its last turn through the canyon, and all during the ride drops of water kept falling from the edge of the roof and landing on the back of our necks. Also, there was a nice little pool of water in the rightmost corner of the seat, and during the "earthquake" in the Canyon, it ran all along the seat, ensuring that all our backsides got nice and soaked. I hope no one saw us and thought we had an accident.
As our tram pulled back into the station, Yort got this really nice picture of the Streets of America:
When we got off the tour, Yort wanted to go the Honey, I Shrunk the Kids playground:
Once there, he got a picture of Future Gal and I being "menaced" by the giant fly:
How many people that visit the park each day even know what Honey, I Shrunk the Kids was, I wonder?
After we got done there, there was about forty minutes left until the beginning of Hyperspace Hoopla, so we headed back to the Star Tours area. It was already very crowded around the stage, because the last Jedi Training Academy was taking place. The Jedi Training Academy is one of those things that used to only happen on Star Wars Weekends, but it proved so popular that they made it a regular thing. I just wish they had a version of it for adults; how many of us would want to get our picture taken while we crossed lightsabers with Darth Vader himself? I know I would!
The location of Hyperspace Hoopla is something that they seriously need to revisit. It's a great show, but the stage next to Star Tours is not designed to be viewed by a huge crowd of people. Pretty much the only way to see the show at all is to be right up next to the stage or crowded up on the outdoor eating area of the adjacent Backlot Express like we were. I hope that they'll either make the area more Hyperspace Hoopla-friendly during the upcoming Star Tours rehab, or that they'll move the show to the Fantasmic Theater or the Lights, Motors, Action theater next year. Anything to allow more people to see it, because Hyperspace Hoopla is awesome! We didn't take any pictures, but here's a link to a great video of this year's show. No description of mine will do it justice, you simply have to see it:
Hyperspace Hoopla
It was awesome, definitely the highlight of the day!
Once it was over we hung around for a while to allow the crowds to thin out, then we left. We were parked close enough to the entrance that we decided to walk instead of take the tram. As we left, and saw all the resort guests boarding the buses, Future Gal and I felt a twinge of envy that they were going back to their Disney resorts to continue their vacations, and we were going to our car to drive back to our home in the "real world". You know, if there was any justice in the word, I would be King of Disney World, and I would live in the Presidential Suite at the Contemporary. I would rename Epcot to EPCOT Center and remake it as I wished, and I would end the High School Musical show at the Studios and smash all its set pieces in one of those giant junk car-smashing machines they have in junkyards, along with the big blue hat. I would then put some decent rides in Animal Kingdom, extend the monorail system throughout the property, thwart all who opposed me, and change my name to General Zod. And I would be waited upon by the princesses. My right-hand man would be Captain Hook. Oh, yes.
Where was I? Sorry about that, I was just rambling incoherently. It's probably because of my head injury. You see, between the two halves of the parking lot, there's a median strip with palm trees and those "What Will You Celebrate Banners" at regular intervals. The banners are suspended between to horizontal metal bars. As we walked, and I was thinking about how I would be back in a few weeks when I'm in Orlando for work-related training, and I decided to consult the calendar on my phone to determine exactly how long until I'd be back. Anyway, because I was looking down at my phone, I didn't notice that I was walking directly into one of those horizontal metal bars, and whacked right into it with the side of my head. I managed to stay on my feet, but my entire head was ringing. Even my back teeth hurt! Well, I recovered and assured my companions that I would be okay to drive home. I had only hit my head after all, not a vital organ.
The drive home went fine, and I'm happy to say that aside from a little bump on my head, I've suffered no ill effects from- and then I will remove the tarps from Innoventions Plaza and rename it to CommuniCore Plaza once again! And I will demolish Mission:Space and build Horizons where it once stood! And I will fix the Carousel of Progress! Kneel before Zod! You will all kneel before Zod! ZOOOODDDDD!!!!
See? I'm fine
(I am guilty of this as well 
although I simply stepped off the side of the road and not into a bar!)
