Jungle Cruise jokes

[vandinglewop]

I was listening to the jungle cruise ride though earlier and I love some of the 1 liners.
So what's your favourite(worst) Jungle Cruise joke? Or do you have your own you made up?

[Amy]

One of my favorite sayings from the Jungle Cruise is when the boat gets back to the dock and the skipper tells guests as they get off the boat to "Watch your head and watch your step, and if you don't watch your step and hit your head, then watch your language."
I also like "Get out! Oh, I'm sorry, that wasn't very Disney. Please get out! There, that's better."

[ImagineerWannabe]

One of my favorite sayings from the Jungle Cruise is when the boat gets back to the dock and the skipper tells guests as they get off the boat to "Watch your head and watch your step, and if you don't watch your step and hit your head, then watch your language."
I also like "Get out! Oh, I'm sorry, that wasn't very Disney. Please get out! There, that's better."

The watch head/step is my favourite too

[princessinwaiting]

I adore all of the Jungle Cruise jokes, they are fantastically bad dad joke standard, its wonderful! When our family went on the ride we loved it so much, me and my dad (I am Sulley) were really laughing out loud. It got so much that the other families on the boat started to look at us a bit funny and I think even the boat skipper was beginning to question our sanity! I am excited for everyone to post their favourite jokes as I am really looking forward to reading them!

[I am Sulley]

I adore all of the Jungle Cruise jokes, they are fantastically bad dad joke standard, its wonderful! When our family went on the ride we loved it so much, me and my dad (I am Sulley) were really laughing out loud. It got so much that the other families on the boat started to look at us a bit funny and I think even the boat skipper was beginning to question our sanity! I am excited for everyone to post their favourite jokes as I am really looking forward to reading them!

You can always rely on us Brits to cause a stir!

Wish I could remember them all now

[Amy]

I adore all of the Jungle Cruise jokes, they are fantastically bad dad joke standard, its wonderful! When our family went on the ride we loved it so much, me and my dad (I am Sulley) were really laughing out loud. It got so much that the other families on the boat started to look at us a bit funny and I think even the boat skipper was beginning to question our sanity! I am excited for everyone to post their favourite jokes as I am really looking forward to reading them!

You can always rely on us Brits to cause a stir!

Wish I could remember them all now

That would definitely make me look twice at a family too ~ so many of the jokes are more deserving of a groan than a laugh out loud
Here is a great link to a lot of the jokes to jog your memory ~ http://www.themedattraction.com/jungle.htm

[NaCler]

While in line I love the "that's Swahili for, take the goat out of the house and put him in his pen." Don't know why really, just sounds funny. While on the ride I love the ending jokes while docking. Mostly about getting off on the right side and not experiencing any unnecessary "pier pressure."

[vandinglewop]

My fav is, "and to your left we have an African elephant. How can you tell its an African elephant? Because we are in Africa!"

lol

[I am Sulley]

I adore all of the Jungle Cruise jokes, they are fantastically bad dad joke standard, its wonderful! When our family went on the ride we loved it so much, me and my dad (I am Sulley) were really laughing out loud. It got so much that the other families on the boat started to look at us a bit funny and I think even the boat skipper was beginning to question our sanity! I am excited for everyone to post their favourite jokes as I am really looking forward to reading them!

You can always rely on us Brits to cause a stir!

Wish I could remember them all now

That would definitely make me look twice at a family too ~ so many of the jokes are more deserving of a groan than a laugh out loud
Here is a great link to a lot of the jokes to jog your memory ~ http://www.themedattraction.com/jungle.htm

Thanks Amy
We are enjoying working our way through this

I know some are groan worthy but when delivered well and in such quantity they just set me off and then even the bad ones make me laugh
Another example of the "Disney Drug" at work. Perhaps that should be "Disney Magic"

[horizons1]

I have heard a variation on the baboons where they name each one including Debbie. That always cracked me up.

A most-likely "unauthorized" unloading one that I have only heard once or twice is "I'd like to leave you with some words my dad told me on my 18th birthday - GET OUT! THE FREE RIDE'S OVER!"

[Amy]

You're welcome I am Sulley ~ glad you are enjoying the bad jokes
That is a funny one horizons1, and yes, probably not at all authorized The funnier jokes are the ones that generally probably aren't on the script

[BenB]

We've had some great skippers over the years that were really into it and made us laugh - even though we've ridden so much that we knew all the jokes. That takes talent! I'm always sure to mention it to them when we get a really outstanding guide - that we ride all the time and their tour was top notch. I hope it helps them know that they made our day, and keep it up again... and again... and again... "Now that's something you don't see every day! But I do. Every 15 minutes."

But I'll never forget the one time we got a skipper, a girl from Japan, who delivered every joke so poorly that it hurt. Each one was as if she was reading it off an index card (badly!), and delivered without any inflection, timing, or humor. Oh it was awful! I very nearly complained about her when we got off the boat, but chose not to. How she made it onto the boat is beyond me. Clearly they were hurting for skippers that day.

[horizons1]

Ben, that reminds me of when they were training HKDL skippers at WDW before Hong Kong opened. I rode with one guy where I could not understand a word he was saying. But his gestures and enthusiasm were off the chart and it was hilarious just watching him so into it.

[BenB]

I love it when they get into the jokes. That's how the attraction was intended to be, and it doesn't work with a disengaged skipper.

[MmeLeota]

We both seem to quote "the backside of water" a lot, so that's probably our favorite. I'm not sure how popular it is at WDW, but it was always a staple at DL every time we rode it...sometimes there would be an unscripted joke about Fantasmic! during the day in place of it though.

When I worked at a theme park, we had a Jungle Cruise-esque attraction, but it was themed to movie magic...full of crummy jokes that we couldn't stray from or we'd get in trouble (but we did anyway). Anyway, I remember playing off the audience. If I could make them at least crack a smile, it was a successful tour...but if every single person sat stone-faced, it was crappy. I once had a full boat and not one person spoke English...AWKWARD! Every interaction was met with blank stares. I just smiled and kept going, but it was the worst tour ever! This is why we always make it a point to laugh/groan whenever on Jungle Cruise...but the Skippers are usually fantastic, so it's easy to do.