Anybody have advice on WDW "reluctant partners"?

[kelpseaweedkelp]

Hi all!
Looking for thoughts from ppl who "get it".
My family bought me and a guest a 3 day trip to WDW in April for my birthday - I'm super stoked and grateful - I just have to get plane and food.
Here is my dilemma.

I would love to bring my girlfriend bc I want to show her something I love and I also truly believe she would find things she loves there. She is....reluctant. She thinks she won't like it, there were will be too many kids, that she will feel claustrophobic and like the whole thing is fake - standard reluctant Disney-goer concerns. She said she is happy to go with me but that if she doesn't like it she never has to go again. My other option is bringing one of my best friends, who would love it, but it wouldn't be my girlfriend.

I'm pretty mellow when I am there and not like, we have to do this this and this - I also plan out things I think are critical and then leave a lot of open time and I'm a good eater and drinker with maps of everything burned into my head.

Anybody have advice or thoughts or experience with their reluctant partners?
When you brought one, did you feel pressure to make sure they had a good time and couldn't totally relax?

Thanks!

[cy1229]

I haven't needed to convince a reluctant partner before, so I can't help you there, but I do have a couple suggestions.

First, get the latest WDW travel planning DVD. Let her look through it herself.

Second, have her read through trip reports on this site, and any others you frequent. I have lots of WDW photos in my trip reports, and on my Facebook page.

Third, think about adding a day or two at the beach to your trip. Since you guys are doing airfare anyway, a night or two at Cocoa Beach won't be that expensive and it will give her something non-Disney to look forward to on the trip. A win/win give-and-take.

Since the optimal days' gap for purchasing airfare is 54 days out, you have a bit of time to get the DVD. And, I bet if you call Disney directly and explain, they might be willing to get it rushed to you. The worst they can say is no... And then she has the tools to see the big fun she can have.

It sounds to me like she's willing to give it a try because it's important to you, and that's a big deal. Give her the opportunity to be giving toward you. She doesn't have to be as Disney-freaky as you are to have a nice time.

[Wizzard419]

Take the friend, she is going to really hate it if they are at high crowds from spring break. Normally I would say she could go do whatever at the pool, but she probably would expect you to stay with her most/all of the time. If she hates crowds, kids, etc. there is no amount of fun from a few select experiences that will be able to change that.

I also would imagine she will let you know she is having a bad time, ruining your fun as well.

[Amy]

I've never really had to talk anyone into going ~ I think cy1229 has good advice about letting your girlfriend see what the resort has to offer via videos, pictures, trip reports. And adding some time at the beach or maybe a side trip to shop or do something off property would maybe help sweeten the deal.
Wizzard419 makes a good point about the spring break crowds. Have you checked the attendance forecasts for when you would be going yet? If your girlfriend is not big on crowds, and if you will be there when it will be super busy, then your friend might be a better bet.
I would guess the biggest thing would be to make sure it is your girlfriend's decision if she ultimately goes with you so she doesn't grumble and complain and ruin your fun birthday present.

[Wizzard419]

The reason I don't support even showing them vacation planning materials is simply because those are designed to lure people in and you can easily spot the people not interested in going as they are miserable, often getting in fights with their spouse.

If you really want to make it simple, have her (no coaching) list out all the things she would want to do there vs everything she would hate about it.

[cy1229]

The reason I don't support even showing them vacation planning materials is simply because those are designed to lure people in and you can easily spot the people not interested in going as they are miserable, often getting in fights with their spouse.

If you really want to make it simple, have her (no coaching) list out all the things she would want to do there vs everything she would hate about it.

But if she doesn't know what's there, and only what she's "heard", it won't be a good exercise for her.

Objective information without any obligation is the best bet. And yes, the planning DVD's are a huge sales pitch, but they also show things for adults that don't include kids and other things that many of us might not think of. A skeptical person would see the planning DVD with more than an ounce of resistance, thus the two "forces" would cancel out and you'd have an objective perspective.

Amy brings up a really valid point:

I would guess the biggest thing would be to make sure it is your girlfriend's decision if she ultimately goes with you so she doesn't grumble and complain and ruin your fun birthday present.

You also don't want her to grumble, complain, or worst of all, question the relationship because you didn't take her. That opens a whole other pandora's box.

[dwellsbct]

Take your GF and if she sees Disney through your eyes you may just convert her
I took my GF, made her my fiance our first night there and now she sees more magic every time we go

[kelpseaweedkelp]

HA! Well....probably not ready for that magic amplification yet

Take your GF and if she sees Disney through your eyes you may just convert her
I took my GF, made her my fiance our first night there and now she sees more magic every time we go

[kelpseaweedkelp]

THANKS everybody for this discussion! It is really helpful to hear what ppl think and other experiences.

Attendance when we would go looks to be fairly low, so that worry is off the list. Plus its during the EPCOT Flower Fest, which is a big plus.

Wizzard419, I've seen the couples fighting too and always wonder if they just end up in the tequila cave in Mexico. I would be so miserable if we were fighting, or even just like neutral towards each other. We went to 6 Flags in the fall and she really enjoyed it. I got feedback from another friend whose husband took her to WDW and she HATED it that they also went to Universal for a day and she loved it! This....I don't get it. Thrill rides I guess. Not associated with "Disney". I dunno.

Amy brings up a really valid point:

I would guess the biggest thing would be to make sure it is your girlfriend's decision if she ultimately goes with you so she doesn't grumble and complain and ruin your fun birthday present.

You also don't want her to grumble, complain, or worst of all, question the relationship because you didn't take her. That opens a whole other pandora's box.

cy1229 - this is totally the Pandora's Box that is top in my mind. It feels a bit darn if you do darn if you don't. Also if I bring my friend, which I'm kind of leaning more towards this hour (especially bc he loves Star Wars), I hope I wouldn't come home to resentment. I was thinking of saying, I'm not feeling that the time is right for us to go to Disney World together now and lets instead plan a trip this year that we are both way into.

Amy, she is definitely leaving the decision about her going in my corner.

ps - cy1229, SOLO TRIPS ARE SO FUN!

[cy1229]

THANKS everybody for this discussion! It is really helpful to hear what ppl think and other experiences.

Attendance when we would go looks to be fairly low, so that worry is off the list. Plus its during the EPCOT Flower Fest, which is a big plus.

Wizzard419, I've seen the couples fighting too and always wonder if they just end up in the tequila cave in Mexico. I would be so miserable if we were fighting, or even just like neutral towards each other. We went to 6 Flags in the fall and she really enjoyed it. I got feedback from another friend whose husband took her to WDW and she HATED it that they also went to Universal for a day and she loved it! This....I don't get it. Thrill rides I guess. Not associated with "Disney". I dunno.

Amy brings up a really valid point:

I would guess the biggest thing would be to make sure it is your girlfriend's decision if she ultimately goes with you so she doesn't grumble and complain and ruin your fun birthday present.

You also don't want her to grumble, complain, or worst of all, question the relationship because you didn't take her. That opens a whole other pandora's box.

cy1229 - this is totally the Pandora's Box that is top in my mind. It feels a bit darn if you do darn if you don't. Also if I bring my friend, which I'm kind of leaning more towards this hour (especially bc he loves Star Wars), I hope I wouldn't come home to resentment. I was thinking of saying, I'm not feeling that the time is right for us to go to Disney World together now and lets instead plan a trip this year that we are both way into.

Amy, she is definitely leaving the decision about her going in my corner.

ps - cy1229, SOLO TRIPS ARE SO FUN!

Well, assuming your girlfriend is a grown-up and means what she says when she tells you it's your call.... then I like your idea of taking your friend and planning a different trip with her that you both can get excited about. It's very little work to rent a car at the end of your Disney stay and drive over to the space coast for some quality sand and sun time. Not to mention touring the NASA complex. And Ron Jon. And this little dive we found, Jazzy's Mainely Lobster, which has GREAT food.

Me, I would extra-special double-check with her that she doesn't mind not going, then tell her you're thinking of taking your friend and that the two of you could plan a Florida trip that includes but isn't limited to Disney. I bet you a Mickey ice cream bar she likes that idea.

[kelpseaweedkelp]

Well, assuming your girlfriend is a grown-up and means what she says when she tells you it's your call.... then I like your idea of taking your friend and planning a different trip with her that you both can get excited about. It's very little work to rent a car at the end of your Disney stay and drive over to the space coast for some quality sand and sun time. Not to mention touring the NASA complex. And Ron Jon. And this little dive we found, Jazzy's Mainely Lobster, which has GREAT food.

Me, I would extra-special double-check with her that she doesn't mind not going, then tell her you're thinking of taking your friend and that the two of you could plan a Florida trip that includes but isn't limited to Disney. I bet you a Mickey ice cream bar she likes that idea.

Agreed with all. I was thinking too if I lure her down in the future with like maybe one day at EPCOT, one day at KSC/beach/Jazzy's, and a long time ago I won that Fear Factor Live thing at Universal so have two tickets to that, that all might be a nice long weekend she would be into. Plus could stay on-site to satisfy some of my craving.

I'll let y'all know how it goes!

This has been a really interesting discussion to me.

[Amy]

Well, assuming your girlfriend is a grown-up and means what she says when she tells you it's your call.... then I like your idea of taking your friend and planning a different trip with her that you both can get excited about. It's very little work to rent a car at the end of your Disney stay and drive over to the space coast for some quality sand and sun time. Not to mention touring the NASA complex. And Ron Jon. And this little dive we found, Jazzy's Mainely Lobster, which has GREAT food.

Me, I would extra-special double-check with her that she doesn't mind not going, then tell her you're thinking of taking your friend and that the two of you could plan a Florida trip that includes but isn't limited to Disney. I bet you a Mickey ice cream bar she likes that idea.

Agreed with all. I was thinking too if I lure her down in the future with like maybe one day at EPCOT, one day at KSC/beach/Jazzy's, and a long time ago I won that Fear Factor Live thing at Universal so have two tickets to that, that all might be a nice long weekend she would be into. Plus could stay on-site to satisfy some of my craving.

I'll let y'all know how it goes!

This has been a really interesting discussion to me.

What did you do on Fear Factor Live?!

[cy1229]

... and a long time ago I won that Fear Factor Live thing at Universal ...

What did you do on Fear Factor Live?!

Oh geez. I would never have been able to get past the disgusting things they had to eat. The jumping and all that, I could do. The eating weird stuff? Nope. I could even handle having things crawling all over me as I'm not really afraid of critters, just don't necessarily like them on me, or they surprise me. But eating weird junk? Nope. A thousand times nope.

I like your plan of a variety of things. You should not rule out the MK or other parks beyond Epcot. If you got, say, a 3-day park hopper, you could do a little bit in each park, spend a day or two at Universal, and a day or two lying on the beach and eating fantastic seafood. So I guess that comes out to more like a week, but still... it's a good vacation and worth the time. The reason I say don't rule out the other parks is that if she likes Universal, there are plenty of things to like at the other parks that have a similar feel and thrill factor. You can skip things she'll find cheesy and juvenile, like Dumbo and Aladdin, if you want. Then again she might get caught up in feeling like a kid and decide she wants to.

[kelpseaweedkelp]

OK so the final verdict is, I told her I really wanted to share Disney World with her, but maybe it wasn't the right time yet and that in the future we could take a weekend trip and spend a day in WDW, a day at Universal, go to the coast and also see the Everglades (I lived in Miami for 5 years and love that drive down). She was way into it. Then I asked how she felt about me taking the friend and she was THRILLED and knows he will have a great time and said "Thank you for listening to me". And he is head over heels excited. So, it seems to of all worked out and everyone is happy! (Hopefully when I get back she will still be happy with this decision )

Thanks everyone for thoughts. So helpful.

Oh yes, and Fear Factor Live - I didn't do crawly or eaty things, although the crawls wouldn't bother me. It was like a 6 person competition and stage 1 was hanging off a high platform as long as you could. Stage 2 was like throwing dead octopuses from a tank of live eels into a bucket held by your partner swinging in a hangliding swing. and stage 3 was an obstacle course with kids shooting fire hoses at you culminated by a rocket launcher. It was all extremely weird but fun and hey free tickets!

Also, did any of you know that AAA and Disney no longer work together?

[Amy]

OK so the final verdict is, I told her I really wanted to share Disney World with her, but maybe it wasn't the right time yet and that in the future we could take a weekend trip and spend a day in WDW, a day at Universal, go to the coast and also see the Everglades (I lived in Miami for 5 years and love that drive down). She was way into it. Then I asked how she felt about me taking the friend and she was THRILLED and knows he will have a great time and said "Thank you for listening to me". And he is head over heels excited. So, it seems to of all worked out and everyone is happy! (Hopefully when I get back she will still be happy with this decision )

Thanks everyone for thoughts. So helpful.

Oh yes, and Fear Factor Live - I didn't do crawly or eaty things, although the crawls wouldn't bother me. It was like a 6 person competition and stage 1 was hanging off a high platform as long as you could. Stage 2 was like throwing dead octopuses from a tank of live eels into a bucket held by your partner swinging in a hangliding swing. and stage 3 was an obstacle course with kids shooting fire hoses at you culminated by a rocket launcher. It was all extremely weird but fun and hey free tickets!

Also, did any of you know that AAA and Disney no longer work together?

So great that you were able to work it out!
Oh my, that sounds like a hard path to free tickets, but I probably would have done all those things too
We never had AAA so no loss for us, but I hadn't heard they were no longer a Disney partner. Is that a relatively new development?