Post
by Captain Schnemo » Jun Mon 16, 2008 5:53 am
Surprise, surprise, the grumpy guy didn't like it.
(Spoilers and complaints to follow.)
The best thing about it was the music. George Lucas had a writing credit, and when he's not ripping off classic Japanese samurai movies, he is a complete hack (the Force comes from microbes?!? Allow me to punch you until you die...), so that was probably part of the problem.
But really you have to lay this one at the feet of Spielberg. All the right elements were there...I thought it was great that they brought Marion back for more than just a cameo, the kid was fine, poking fun at Indy's age was cute, but...blah.
The film is just completely stale. Every scene was lifted from a better one in a previous movie. It felt like a bad director's parody of Raiders. The humor completely fell flat, the character interaction was bland and boring, and there was no sense of danger or excitement. Almost everything was too forced, even the trademark elements. It's movie death when "bickering" scenes aren't funny or clever (and conversely, good banter can make a good movie great (see: Iron Man)), which highlights the broader problem...it just doesn't have that sense of "fun". Spielberg was sleepwalking through this thing.
Indy's charm is that he's not a superhero, but he's way smart and occasionally very lucky. In Raiders, he didn't kick that bald Nazi's butt, but luck/tricked him into splatting in the propeller. In this movie, he beats the crap out of a much younger and stronger bad guy. It's counter to everything we know and like about Indy.
Additionally, in the past it seemed like Indy was just scraping by, but in this one, it was like he was counting on some magical plot twist to save him. We all know that's coming, of course, but it should at least be a surprise to the characters.
The villain didn't hold up either, really. Blanchett did what she could with the part (and looked kinky/hot like the Nazi chick from the third movie), but she didn't get any good dialog. She also didn't get any chance to be particularly frightening...it's implied that she has some kind of psychic powers, but then she never uses them. The coolest/sexiest thing she does in the movie is kill an ant.
The ending was just a rip-off of Raiders, but far less spooky and memorable, and things only seem to happen to mirror the other film. They don't make any sense on their own.
In the end, it's not Ford's age that bothered me, it's Spielberg's. He just seems tired and willing to half-ass it, which was a real shame. I have great affection for the Indy series, and I never imagined a movie with "Indiana Jones" in the title would be boring.
I had low expectations and they weren't met.
Joe Bob says stay home and rent Raiders. Or download it or whatever the kids do these days.