Subsonic Radio

Like you, I wonder if the Disney Princesses know karate. I realize they wouldn't have much use for it in Disney Animated Film Land (although it would be pretty funny to see Belle dropkick Gaston) but most of the princesses have to spend time in the Real World these days, and I'm worried for them.

I first started thinking about this a few years ago when Disney spun the princesses off into sort of a sub-brand and gave them their own greeting areas in the parks. There's always a line of little girls waiting for their photo op with Cinderella or Snow White, but it occurred to me that there's really nothing to prevent creepy stalker-type guys from getting in line, too. Of course, it could be that there are Cast Member ninjas hiding invisibly in the wall decorations, poised to pounce upon such a person, but after Minnie got groped by that guy a little while ago, I'm not too sure. So maybe the princesses should be sent to a self-defense course. That way, if some creepy dude tried to take liberties with them, they could just kick him through a window, or maybe whip out a can of pepper spray and let him have it.

As a matter of fact, I have an idea. I really hate the "castle shows" they have every few hours in front of the castle at WDW (I assume they have them at the other MK-type parks around the world, too). It's nauseating and sappy, and all it does is put silly ideas in kids heads about dreams coming true if they wish really hard. Instead, they should put on a show called "Cinderella's Self-Defense Adventure". I envision it looking something like this scene from Miss Congeniality. A villain (Captain Hook, maybe) would try to grab Cinderella, and she would kick the crap out of him using some spiffy martial-arts moves. They could do the show several times a day using different princesses. I don't see how this show could fail to be a big hit. Heck, it could even inspire a movie franchise where the Disney princesses team up Charlie's Angels-style to fight evil. That way, the princesses could let little girls know that there's more to life than sitting around wishing for your prince to come while eating poisoned apples from creepy strangers.

Future Guy wrote:Like you, I wonder if the Disney Princesses know karate. I realize they wouldn't have much use for it in Disney Animated Film Land (although it would be pretty funny to see Belle dropkick Gaston) but most of the princesses have to spend time in the Real World these days, and I'm worried for them.

I first started thinking about this a few years ago when Disney spun the princesses off into sort of a sub-brand and gave them their own greeting areas in the parks. There's always a line of little girls waiting for their photo op with Cinderella or Snow White, but it occurred to me that there's really nothing to prevent creepy stalker-type guys from getting in line, too. Of course, it could be that there are Cast Member ninjas hiding invisibly in the wall decorations, poised to pounce upon such a person, but after Minnie got groped by that guy a little while ago, I'm not too sure. So maybe the princesses should be sent to a self-defense course. That way, if some creepy dude tried to take liberties with them, they could just kick him through a window, or maybe whip out a can of pepper spray and let him have it.

As a matter of fact, I have an idea. I really hate the "castle shows" they have every few hours in front of the castle at WDW (I assume they have them at the other MK-type parks around the world, too). It's nauseating and sappy, and all it does is put silly ideas in kids heads about dreams coming true if they wish really hard. Instead, they should put on a show called "Cinderella's Self-Defense Adventure". I envision it looking something like this scene from Miss Congeniality. A villain (Captain Hook, maybe) would try to grab Cinderella, and she would kick the crap out of him using some spiffy martial-arts moves. They could do the show several times a day using different princesses. I don't see how this show could fail to be a big hit. Heck, it could even inspire a movie franchise where the Disney princesses team up Charlie's Angels-style to fight evil. That way, the princesses could let little girls know that there's more to life than sitting around wishing for your prince to come while eating poisoned apples from creepy strangers.

LMAO!!! And I thought I have a BAD outlook about things! Survey Says "THORAZINE!!" All though I'd stop and watch that!!

I think this idea might have been fueled by the recent events that happened with a creepy guy and inappropriately touching minnie mouse.

It is a great idea Future Guy, but I think Disney would never do something like that. I can only imagine the lawsuits that they would have to deal with from parents saying Disney taught their kids to be violent.

Actually, I was not being one bit serious. Still, if the princesses feel the need to compete with all those neurotic, violent, and mentally unstable Marvel characters this might be the way to do it. (Again, KIDDING)

love this "modest proposal"!

srik wrote:love this "modest proposal"!

You, sir, are an it-getter!

And here I am all serious about this. Now just think if they took audience volunteers to be the attackers. I would definitely do it. Nothing beats getting drop kicked by Cinderella's glass slipper.

Len90 wrote:And here I am all serious about this. Now just think if they took audience volunteers to be the attackers. I would definitely do it. Nothing beats getting drop kicked by Cinderella's glass slipper.

Kinky!! Len I think you'd have to pay extra!

Now this is an idea!! Violent, yes.... but funny.

I think this is hilarious! Nice post.

You know what? Maybe in conjuction w/ this they could make princess accessories that double as weapons...it looks like a tiara but really it's a gun that shoots poison darts at your attackers.