Cast member jokes

rodders · Post by **rodders** » Apr Thu 17, 2008 9:46 am

I was just listening to the jungle cruise and actually did LOL to one of the jokes. I do love the corny jokes that the CMs make but they usually just raise a smile. That's fine though, I think it makes the ride. One thing that he just said was great:-
"The Amazon River, it's the longest river in Anaheim"

That tickled me and got me thinking, what other CM jokes do people like from this and other rides?

Post by **horizons1** » Apr Thu 17, 2008 2:47 pm

I used to like it when they would point out all the baboons by name: Pat Baboon, Debbie Baboon...

I know it's tradition but I am really sick of hearing the "back side of water" joke. That is so lame I just about cringe in anticipation.

Lion Sleeps Tonight · Post by **Lion Sleeps Tonight** » Apr Thu 17, 2008 6:25 pm

The last time I was on Jungle Cruise, the skipper (Sean) had us all laughing. Some of the jokes I've never heard before. When the boat was in that tunnel and they have an honorary skipper, he began singing the lyrics to that song Willy Wonka sings as they head down the river in the film.

I also like the last joke where, "if you enjoyed the ride, this is the world famous Jungle Cruise and my name is___, if not, then my name is___ and this has been It's a Small World."

DisBeamer · Post by **DisBeamer** » Apr Thu 17, 2008 10:53 pm

I like the end of one of the Jungle Cruise tracks on here (Holly, I think it is?) when she says, as the guests exit, they should:

"Please lower your head and watch your step. If you miss your step and hit your head, please lower your voice and watch your language." Cracks me up every time.

Post by **subsonic** » Apr Mon 21, 2008 10:21 am

There's a joke, that wasn't supposed to be made but got recorded on a live Monorail track we have here. The automated recording says something like "and now your Monorail driver has a few things to say" then the driver gets on the microphone and says, "and now, a moment of silence".

I always laugh at that.

danimal3114u · Post by **danimal3114u** » Apr Tue 22, 2008 4:17 pm

DisBeamer wrote:I like the end of one of the Jungle Cruise tracks on here (Holly, I think it is?) when she says, as the guests exit, they should:

"Please lower your head and watch your step. If you miss your step and hit your head, please lower your voice and watch your language." Cracks me up every time.

That is really good, i don't think I've ever caught that one before and I really like it

Post by **spaulo** » Apr Tue 22, 2008 5:11 pm

subsonic wrote:There's a joke, that wasn't supposed to be made but got recorded on a live Monorail track we have here. The automated recording says something like "and now your Monorail driver has a few things to say" then the driver gets on the microphone and says, "and now, a moment of silence".

I always laugh at that.

I think it's actually something like "And now your driver would like to share a few words." and the guy goes "And these are my few words" and then doesn't say anything as the joke starts to dawn on people.

Classic.

My favorite JC joke:

Near the beginning of the ride, when travelling through mists that kind of signify the beginning of your journey, I've had skippers say something along the lines of "See all this mist? It's not mist, it's actually ebola virus. You might want to hold your breath."

I love dark humor.

Calypso · Post by **Calypso** » Apr Tue 22, 2008 5:53 pm

I love the JC track with Kevin... he's got some good ones, like thanking the state of CA work release program. And DisBeamer's comment about Holly's JC and "watch your step"--- I like the beginning of it, too, where the guests are loading and she's talking to another CM. It's kind of quiet, but funny!

Sleeping Beauty 5 · Post by **Sleeping Beauty 5** » Apr Tue 22, 2008 8:12 pm

Lion Sleeps Tonight wrote:I also like the last joke where, "if you enjoyed the ride, this is the world famous Jungle Cruise and my name is___, if not, then my name is___ and this has been It's a Small World."

This is also one of my favorites! Makes me laugh every time!

Croaker · Post by **Croaker** » Apr Tue 22, 2008 10:01 pm

Hearing this has assured that my wife will never want to ride the Jungle Cruise. Now my daughter would read this and say "Dad, sounds like our kind of humor, Lets ride it several times"

My wifes favorite saying is "All the things that you find charming and lovable when you first meet him are the things that drive you nuts once your married to him."

AKLRULZ · Post by **AKLRULZ** » Apr Wed 23, 2008 5:27 am

These are all great - the best ride we ever had on JC was when we had a dude whose Japanese accent was so thick one could barely understand what he said. He laughed at his corny jokes which no one understood just because of the language barrier, but he had such great personality that he had everyone in the boat rip roaring in laughter from his contagious personality. Best ride ever on JC.

disneydreamer58 · Post by **disneydreamer58** » Apr Wed 23, 2008 7:40 am

DisBeamer wrote:I like the end of one of the Jungle Cruise tracks on here (Holly, I think it is?) when she says, as the guests exit, they should:

"Please lower your head and watch your step. If you miss your step and hit your head, please lower your voice and watch your language." Cracks me up every time.

ME TOO! I think her spiel is my fav one of the JC ride!

Post by **js3901** » Apr Wed 23, 2008 7:09 pm

I'll have to listen to it again when I get back home in about 1 1/2 weeks, but I have a recording of the JC at WDW with Jack (I recorded it in December 2006) that has some REALLY funny quotes in it. I was surprised at how often I was actually laughing.

Post by **horizons1** » Apr Wed 23, 2008 7:13 pm

I thought of another JC one I haven't heard in a long time.

At the end of the ride the skipper would say "I'd like to leave you all with some words my father said to me on my 18th birthday: 'The free ride's over. Get out!'"

garyman · Post by **garyman** » Jun Fri 20, 2008 4:25 pm

I like that tigers can jump 25 feet! Oh don't worry we are only 15 feet away, they will jump right over us.