HELP! I *don't* want to be attached at the hip...

[karenj2]

... to my in-laws!

DH & I are planning a large gathering (well, mostly me) in August 2007 for our 10th anniversary, and so far mostly DH's family is interested in coming. (My older sister is also interested, younger sister and her BF might come if they can afford it, but my parents aren't interested. )

Anyway, I'm doing the planning for this, and at every question I ask (i.e. where do you want to stay, eat, which rides/parks?) I get this answer "wherever you go, that's fine!"

The problem is, DH and I want to stay at the WL, which I'm not sure if everyone can afford, and I know I'll want to eat at places they won't like(although, they might be more willing to try new places if they're on the dining plan), and I certainly don't want to have to make decisions with 9 other people for all of our rides...

It's not that I don't want to see them - I was hoping to spend 1 day with each family group, and/or get together for a meal with a bunch of them once or twice. But this family takes FOREVER to make decisions!

Any suggestions on what to do? (Other than un-inviting them?? )

[leighannp]

First take a deep breath. You just need to look at things from a realistic perspective. I've done this before and it's not as difficult as it sounds. I've taken group trips to WDW personally and had clients who took group trips....it's much easier on everyone involved if everyone knows there will be a certain amount of individual time.

It sounds like you are a planner and if so you will be utterly frustrated with those in your group who are too laid back to plan. You should plan a few meals together, plan an activity or two, and then let everyone do their own thing. It will save your sanity and give everyone enough time away from each other to really enjoy joining back up.

Maybe you want to reserve a Wishes cruise one evening or if there are children a fun Pirate Cruise morning. If there are any special events happening (like your anniversary....birthdays....etc) you could plan a special meal and order a cake to celebrate. With over 8 people you would be considered a Grand Gathering so there are a few extra cool opportunites you could take part in.

You should get together a sample of resorts, one from each category, so that your family has options. With Disney transportation, everyone could stay at a different resort and be just a bus ride away. If the WL is what you and your hubby want to make it a nice trip...then you should stay at the WL and not feel guilty about it.

You know that your ADRs need to be made at the 180 day mark. When you get closer to that date, I would put an email out there for people (call if they don't do email) and give them deadlines. "If you want to join us for this dinner on this night at this location let me know by this date". Send them a final email one week out and then those that responded will eat with you and those that didn't...well you just can't fret over it. It'll make you nuts.

Let the group know your itinerary. If they want to get up and be ready to leave when you are then GREAT! If not, let them use their cell phones to catch up with you later. They can hop on Disney transport and catch up when they are ready....no point in it ruining your trip while you wait on their schedule. Family/friend trips are great but you have to figure out what your boundaries are going to be because you are paying money to spend time at WDW.

You will have some incredible memories of your family together at WDW and that's just a priceless thing!!

[AKLRULZ]

LeighAnn has given you some excellent advice.

My best tip to enhance your stay is book where you want and let the others book where they can afford in terms of the resort. WDW is a big place but it's not that big - if you end up separated by resorts it will certainly permit you that independent time we all need from our inlaws (this coming from a man who is about to spend 10 days with his inlaws in London this fall! ).

[Shinku]

Consider collecting information for them (brochures or maybe lend them your WDW planning dvd or print off some information) and then allow them time ot look over it. Encourage them to become empowered via information.

When they know what's out there, they'll want to make their own decisions (to a point).

[Mr.ToadWildRider]

I agree with AKLRULZ, in terms of resorts pick what you want and then let them decide on their own. You shouldn't compromise a trip you've been planning for by staying someplace you don't want to stay. In fact, I would recommend just planning your trip largely based on what you and your husband want/planned on doing and maybe just printing up a little sheet with the park days/restaurants on them and give them to everyone and let them know if they want to dine with you at your selected restaraunts to let you know so you can make priority seating calls to WDW. You may want to change one night of dining or something to something you know everyone will enjoy and afford etc but other than that they said "whatever you want" and I would go with that. It's too hard to second guess your plans based on what others want, especially in situations where they're sort of tagging along and have already told you basically not to alter your plans for them.

[karenj2]

Thanks, folks... your advice is perfect! I think I'm going to give everyone wdw books, etc. for Christmas, so they can start making plans NOW (or at least plan not to make plans).

I'm honestly not that much of a control freak, but these guys are so frustrating sometimes (as I think any large group would be - I actually get along with my in laws in general). We've been to DL three times (twice with them, and once without), and we've never been on the Matterhorn because of bad planning (the lines were always too long).